1. Wear socks. For the girls, sartorial faux pas may have the benefit of a shock value. Dress your female client loudly enough and everybody in the courtroom might just forget what the hearing was all about. The judge will be telling his clerk: “Mary, can you believe the skirt on Mrs. What’s-her-name when she was testifying about what-was-that- about?!” Men enjoy no such powers. If you do not wear socks, everybody in the courtroom will remember you as “that cheating SOB who does not even wear socks.”
2. The judge is not flirting with you. Neither is the opposing counsel. Neither is your own counsel. You are just a job. I promise.
3. In North Carolina, the assets are divided according to their value on the date of separation. If your estranged wife arrives at your doorstep in the middles of the night dressed in nothing but high heels and a raincoat, it is possible that she finally saw you for the splendid man you are – the realization that escaped her in the prior ten years. It is also possible, however, that she has somehow learned of that large asset you purchased since you separated, and her primary motive is less -ehm - pure and simple than it seems.
4. You are classified as the “supporting spouse” because you supported your spouse. Before you got married, during the marriage, and after you separated. The louder you protest that you gave her luxury, that she has cultivated her helplessness and has done nothing but take manicures and the yoga classes, -- the longer you will be eligible to pay for those same manicures and yoga classes. This may sound unfair to you, but such is North Carolina alimony law. Take what you will from this.
5. Your hair is fine.
If you do not believe your hair is fine, consider reviewing this.
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