Dating Potential of the Closed Files

Every third Thursday at 8:30, Vicky and I share a bottle of Kinzmarauli and our unfailing disappointment with the Charlotte dating pool. Vicky, a beautiful skinny shiny wedding photographer has never been married and enjoys a sanguine view on the recently divorced. To her, my growing collection of closed files is a land of walks on the beach, rainbows and Tiffany rings, all turned into stone by a misguided witch. Every Thursday, by 9:15, Vicky tries to convert me.

“Your clients,” she starts again, “are rich and beautiful?”

“I have some of each.”

“Instead of destroying the sacred institution and bringing loneliness and despair into the world, you could…”

“Arrange that you have a date this weekend?”

“And didn’t you say that you divorced a handsome, kind and brilliant doctor called Kevin?”

“I divorced a doctor called Kevin.”

If you date a recently divorced guy between 35 and 45, you must not mind that 1. all his money goes to the ex-wife, while you have to eat in. You might have to occasionally buy the groceries; 2. the only time he stops talking about his ex is when he is on the phone screaming at her, on the phone screaming at his divorce lawyer, or when you are having sex; 3. he is either scoping every girl around or having sex with every girl around (Vicky says, it’s not a problem, she can share and I make a note to buy glass tags). I am told that all these problems go away after several years, but only if you do not notice them. Although, one might wonder if striving to not notice one’s date for several years is habit forming? Nah.

Copyright (c) 2009 Aylward

Divorce Attorneys -- When should You Get One?

It is a popular belief among couples on the brink of divorce that the very act of engaging an attorney increases acrimony and hatred. That is a logical fallacy. First of all, acrimony and hatred is only created when your spouse becomes aware that the counsel has been retained. Banging the door to punctuate your yelp “You will hear from my lawyer” is a tactic quite different from that of tacitly stopping by the office of your friendly divorce attorney, while your spouse believes that you are occupied by a game of bridge at the club. Second, and even more importantly, there are many instances in which receiving consultation about the state of the law will help you learn that the offer your spouse just made is as good as it gets. Surrender your position rapidly and gracefully. Avoid the fight, restore peace and encourage your spouse to believe you are a sweetheart, if not a pushover. Just hope your spouse does not seek legal counsel, and discover that he is not getting quite the good deal he thinks.