Cynthia Shackelford's nine million dollar marriage and the Alienation of Affections Debate

continued from September 2009

Cynthia Shackelford, the last big winner of the alienation of affections lottery, has stirred it up once again. One of the favorite pastimes of the North Carolinians -- the Alienation of Affections Debate. Should the law be abolished? Or should every state have it?

The proponents of alienation of affections law typically scream “protect the children,” sue the mistress. They never demystify quite how dragging the man’s mistress in the mud and slapping her with a multi-million-dollar verdict helps his children.

Proponents of the law also believe that alienation of affections law “sends a message” and “home wreckers stay away.” I do not know if anybody ever figured out if home-wreckers do get the message. Are there fewer home-wreckers in North Carolina, where the law is still well than, say, in New York, where the law is abolished? Has anybody sent a SurveyMonkey question around the state of North Carolina, asking: “If it were not for the alienation of affections law, would you be more likely to sleep with your married boss? Please mark only one of the following boxes: “agree completely,” “agree somewhat,” “disagree completely,” or “what law? I have been screwing the boss for the past ten years. Now you telling me there’s a law?!” I do not actually know if there is a statistical study, but I do know that all my friends who wanted to raise families, moved to Charlotte, and all my friends who wanted to raise hell are still in New York -- so there may be some adverse selection here. And it has nothing to do with the legal system -- it is all about the nightlife in Soho versus the nightlife in Ballentine.

Shackelford’s victory also stirred up the opposition, which generally shouts that “the law is immoral” and “needs to me removed.” Rosen, one of the most vocal (and generally sensible) divorce commentators in the state, was quoted years ago, saying that “the law just polarizes everyone and devastates everything in its path including the children and both spouses.” P-uh-lease. We are not talking about an unnecessary drunken debauch at a White House reception. We are talking about a law suit which typically comes up as part of a divorce action. It is not like everybody was warm, fuzzy and happy just before -- and now comes the alienation of affections lawsuit, and destroys the spirit. This people were divorcing each other. My money is, they do not like each other all that much.

Of course, the opposition also deplores the high awards issued in the alienation cases. A million or two is not uncommon if the jury does not like the paramour. That is not the sharpest argument, either. Is alienation of affections the only cause of action that ignites a jury to astronomical verdict? Of course not! The juries get carried away in every type of the case. Tobacco, Asbestus, wrongful death, personal injury, contract. You name it -- there is a suit where the jury got bothered and over-reacted. Nobody argues to abolish those causes of action.

Here’s how I see it. Some people are to blame for destroying a perfectly good marriage, which maybe would have screeched its way through a rough patch, and then lasted till death did them part. And then again, some people are doing a couple a favor by ending the union that made both spouses miserable, anyhow. And some people were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time. As any law, alienation of affections law gets misused, abused, and used for blackmail (we call it negotiations). And it gets used to punish the bad and make whole the good. It just all depends.

Copyright (c) 2010 Aylward all rights reserved

ALIENATION OF AFFECTIONS -- Tax on the rich?

A good friend of mine (not a lawyer, but a naturally gifted cross-examining talent) reports saying this to his wife:

-- Honey, are you cheating on me?

-- Of course not, darling!

-- You seeing somebody else?

-- No, darling!

-- You having sex with anybody else?

-- Yes, dear.

Spouses cheat on each other. I know you do not want to hear this. I do not really want to have to say it to you. But it is best you hear it from me, not from some ass who gives no care for your well-being, right?

Most married people will develop an interest in somebody other than their spouse. Apparently, the French do it with dignity and to the advantage of their husbands. This may just be a rumor fueled by too much Balzac. I do not know. Here in America, your spouse will always manage to choose the most unacceptable, embarrassing and annoying liaison.

Your wife will cheat on you with your best friend, with her best friend, with her high school sweetheart, with your high school sweetheart, with her secretary (male, if you are lucky). She will do that with no provocation or reason. If you so much as forget her birthday, though, she will get really upset and sleep with your gardener, general contractor, beekeeper … and the dentist.

Assuming you are not the sharing sort, what do you do? First, you must change dentists. With that settled, you have several options. Infidelity is a complete bar to receiving alimony in North Carolina. You might quickly sue for divorce, invest the savings in a late model Lamborghini, and seek the next love of your life. Assuming you love your wife, however, your options become limited. You will likely consider one or more of the following: filing a complaint with the North Carolina State Board of Dental Examiners, challenging a duel, trying to schedule a couple’s counseling session with your wife, or turning for help to De Beers. Those are all very good options, but the State of North Carolina presents you with one truly unique opportunity.

This sort of feels like a combination of the Board complaint, the duel and the counseling session. Whether De Beers figures into this, I am not quite certain.
As they say in the entertainment industry, put your hands together for – wait for it -- a tort action known as "alienation of affections." Copyright (c) 2009 Aylward

To be continued